Prep the baking soda wash Preheat oven to 300°F. Line a sheet pan with aluminum foil and evenly spread out the baking soda. Bake for 1 hour (this step turns your baking soda into a stronger, more effective pretzel wash).
Whisk the baked soda into 4 cups of cool water in a large bowl until fully dissolved. Set aside. Increase oven temperature to 400°F.
Make the dough In a large bowl, stir together the self-rising flour and brown sugar. Add the Greek yogurt and stir together until a shaggy dough forms.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 1–2 minutes until smooth. Cover with a kitchen towel and let dough rest for 15 minutes.
Shape the bagels Divide the dough into 8 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a rope about 10 to 12 inches long, then pinch the ends together to form a ring. Press the seam gently to seal.
Dip in the baking soda wash Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Using a slotted spoon or spatula, gently dip each bagel into the baking soda wash for 15 to 20 seconds per side, letting the excess drip off. Place on the prepared pan. Repeat with remaining bagels.
Add that salty topping While the bagels are still wet, sprinkle with pretzel salt or coarse kosher salt.
Bake at 400°F for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the bagels are puffed and deeply golden brown. Spray or brush with melted butter while still warm if you want that authentic mall pretzel flavor.